May 26, 2000 – Friday – 6:36 p.m.

It has been seven months since that perfect night in Currituck with beautiful Marie.

Dan is in front of me playing Tetris 2.  Marie and I talked over the phone last night.  She is having a good time in New Jersey.  She doesn’t seem to be missing me.  That is a good thing I guess.  She is in the world she knows best.  I am in the corporate world I know not of.

. . .

It is a little later on this Friday night now.  I just got off the phone with Marie.  She called while I was writing earlier.  Part of me feels like she doesn’t want to have a relationship with me anymore.  I think she’s going to run away.

I just pray that you guide her God.  If you want her to go, then please let it happen.  We’ve had some good times, but perhaps I am not the best fit for her.  The last thing I want is to be a burden to her.

I’d give the world to be home tonight.  I just don’t know where that is.

Dan is still playing Tetris 2.

I am in a place I’ve never been.

Words.

Oh God, it feels like that is all I have.  Just these words on these pages.

I’d rather have you Jesus.

Feels like much is on my heart.

But I’ve got nothing to say.

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