I began writing in these books nearly six years ago for a reason of which I am not really sure. I only remember beginning them. When I search myself for the most honest answer, all I can say is that I did it for myself. Not for the person I was then, but for the person I knew I would become after reading about the time and place which formed me….and to read about it in my own hand.
And thus far, it has all brought me to this day, this hour, this minute.
I have just returned from a True Love Waits rally in Williamsburg, VA, a town I’ve spent many hours in over the years, for it is where we would go when I visited my dad’s side of the family in my earlier days. My brother Kevin was there. He’s 24 and looks nothing like it. He handed me Christmas presents from people I didn’t see since I went chasing after my long lost pen pal, my family of old, and the revival everyone’s been talking about.
I drove one of two Parkway Temple vans to our destination and back tonight. I used to be one of the kids always riding in the van, but now I’m the one driving it.
Our team performed Masks tonight. This short vignette is very dear to my heart and has been in existence for nearly as long as these journals. And I see now what these writings have done for me. They help me examine my thoughts and feelings and help me remove all the false masks that try to cling to me each day.
There is no doubt that these entries have tremendously aided in forming who I am today.
For today, I am a free man.
And yesterday, on the 12th day of the 2nd month of 1999, I think I met her.
I left youth group a little early last night to attend the swing dance at Regent University. During one dance where all the girls lined up on one side and the guys on the other, I walked towards a girl and met her in the middle. There, we found ourselves; my arm around her back, our hands in each other’s, her hand on my shoulder.
We moved to the music.
“What’s your name?”
“Jacob. Nice to meet you.”