September 25, 1998 – Friday – 5:10 p.m.

September is slipping out from under me.  Can it already be so late in the year, and so late in the millennium?

I had a film shoot earlier in the week and met a woman who had spent some time out in LA.  Our conversation about how the business really works intimidated me a bit, and I felt God question me on how bad I wanted to work in the film industry.  Most of the students here don’t really want to work in Hollywood, they just love the craft and home to use it somehow as a career.  If I’m honest, I want to live a quiet life, not a life in the spotlight.  But I also know I’m supposed to study this right now, and it won’t last very long, for it is already almost October.

Three months until Christmas.

I head for Charlotte, NC tonight after youth group.

Laura and I have been emailing each other.  I miss her beauty.

1999.

That’s impossible.

Last Christmas I promised I would never spend another Christmas with my dad’s side of the family.  I’m tempted to ask Sharon if I can stay with them over the Holidays and just hide from the world.  Even Laura’s emails look beautiful and pure.

Where suddenly have I gone?

I pitched a short film script today.  I’m not sure how it was received, but I got a lot of laughs.  It is a comedy, so that’s good.

I also got called back for both short films I auditioned for.

Why is all of this making perfect sense God?  Yet, why am I also so confused?  Why do I miss things I’ve never had?  Why do I dream of things I do not want?

Please slow this down God.

Please speed it up.

Is all of this just to make you smile…

…or to make me smile?

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