April 12, 1998 – Sunday – 10:12 p.m.

I’ve been working on my Titanic paper all weekend.  It is really good, possibly better than my first draft that sunk into the Atlantic.  I’m excited about sharing it during my Omega presentation.

Sarah left Friday morning to go home.  I miss her.  Today I went into her room to bring my paper up on her computer to work on it since my word processor no longer works.  As an RD I have a master key to everyone’s room on campus, but she said I could be in her room without her there.  And, well, I kinda did a bad thing.  I found her journal and I read some of it.  She hasn’t written anything since February, but it helped me understand where she was coming from.  I do love her so much.  Most of her entries about me were simply her amazement that I could love her as much as I did.  She stood in awe of our relationship because there were no lies and no games.  She also wrote how she was afraid that I was very sexual, for it appears she wished we were going further physically than we have been.  I think perhaps Wednesday night may have proved her wrong, of course there was no sex, but…oh Sarah is simply amazing!  I now wish I hadn’t read that part, for I want so desperately to stay pure until marriage.  I fear this new knowledge may give me permission to let my hands wander.  Oh, what if Sarah and I tried this whole life together.  How much fun would that be.

Oh God, be with us.  Help us.  Bless us.

Reading her journal was such a blessing because it show me how God was using me to bless her life just like he was using her life to bless mine.

I think we really do make a lasting impact on those we are with, for I talked to Shirley, Veronica’s mom, yesterday.  Everyone seems to be doing fine.  Veronica wasn’t there for me to talk with her, but her mom did say that she was telling her current boyfriend about me and what a positive force I was in her life.

Every moment matters.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s