This month is nearly over.
I talked to Sarah on Saturday. I asked her if this is what she wanted, for us not to be together. She said that she wasn’t sure for the longest time and finally she prayed and gave it all up to God. The day she did was the day that I came to her to let her go.
We both felt this was right and was supposed to happen. We held each other and told each other not to forget how much they were loved. I asked if it would be wrong if I kissed her goodbye. Thankful, she said it wasn’t.
I kissed her. We both cried and then I left. Sunday was spent at church and with Sharon and family. We drove around on the Blue Ridge Parkway, ate ice cream and pizza and visited a lake. It was a fantastic time. Lindy and I hung out with each other that night and I called Sarah just to say hi. She said she wasn’t doing really well, but she didn’t tell me why.
Today she came into the computer lab while I was working in there and rather than talking across the room, we just emailed each other back and forth. I think she was able to better express herself through writing and without having to look at me. She said she was just sad because she misses me.
I miss her.
Through writing emails, we decided to meet out in the hallway and find an empty classroom. Once there we just held each other, and, with tear-filled eyes, she kissed me passionately.
I love her.
I think we plan on talking later tonight.
Oh God. I want you to always be first in my life.
Can she be second?