January 6, 1998 – Tuesday – 12:52 p.m.

Mom and I decided that we are going to leave on Friday since she needs to go clean the church Saturday morning.  So I have only two and a half days left here then four months at Lees-McRae.

Four months used to feel like a long time.

I’ve kind of been doubting how Sarah feels about me recently, but love is not about receiving.  It is about giving; giving until you are the lowest of the low.

We will see what the next four months hold for us, but no matter what I must keep getting closer to God.  No one must ever come before him.

This has been a pretty nice visit back to this ancient place.  By coming here and talking with many people and by listening to what others have said to me, I have come to the conclusion that there are not many others like me in the world.  This was kind of news to me, but I guess one easily assumes that everyone else sees the world like they do, but those both older and younger than me have told me that I think and see differently.

Maybe the reason they see this in me and feel the need to tell me is simply because I am not of this world.  Jesus says I am from a different kingdom.

It’s very difficult living this way, but also very easy for I truly do feel alive.  Thank you God for being who you are.

Since I’m going back to school a little earlier than I had planned, I will have some time alone.  But soon after, Cuckoo’s Nest rehearsals will be in full swing.  I’ll also be directing a one-act called Next by Terrence McNally.  I think Mason will be in it.

If I get the Teen-Mania position for the summer, I’ll have to raise money.  And I might have to find my way to Virginia Beach and Regent University this semester for some interviews.

I give it all to you God.

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