December 29, 1997 – Monday – 1:19 p.m.

Guess what?


Sarah and I made plans for today.  I was going to see her after my dentist appointment, but it started snowing and mom wouldn’t let me go.  I got upset, but she wouldn’t change her mind.  I called Sarah and she was disappointed, but she understood.

Mom drove me to the dentist and we got a chance to talk.  I told her I was disappointed because she doesn’t seem interested in my relationship with Sarah.  She never asks about her, she never asks about anything.

We went back and forth for a while and I told her I was in love with Sarah and that I was glad that I got upset when I couldn’t go see her today.  I’m glad that it hurt.  It would be terrible if I was okay with not seeing the one I love.  I told her that I watch her and Henry and I watch so many other married couples and that they’ve all become these sad sad stories of boredom.

Henry asks for kisses from mom and she keeps on walking.  Henry sleeps in a chair downstairs alone while mom sleeps upstairs.  I said, “if that is what happens to the fire that is inside me now, then I don’t want it at all.”

It’s true.  I pray every day that my relationship with Sarah never becomes boring, or something that I’m used to.  I pray it never looses its magic and I pray God helps us to keep it alive and new and real.

I think mom felt a little convicted.  And she should.  Christians should have the most amazing romantic relationships of all humans.  God is love and he is supposed to be with them!  If my mom and stepfather call themselves Christians, but they don’t share a bed and I never see them kiss each other, then I think they are being bad Christians.

I told Sarah all of this over the phone after the dentist and she agreed with me.  I can’t wait till the next time I see her.

God gave me this life and I refuse to let the world ruin me.  I am going to live.  I am going to love.  I am alive.  I’m not dead like half this world.  I am alive and well!

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