I’m sure this will continue for six more months. I’m so scared. I’m so scared to be affectionate. I’m not sure how she’ll take it. I had her listen to a song, Jars of Clay’s Hymn, and she broke down in tears. I didn’t reach up to touch her, to comfort her, even though I so desperately wanted to. I have to restrain myself around her, keep myself together.
I fear history is repeating itself.
Oh God, you have to do whatever it is you need me to do. I’m not sure of anything but you God. I don’t have much time here. I don’t know what she needs me to be for her. Or even what she wants me to be.
All I know is that you loved her very much.
And I can see why.
