April 16, 1997 – Wednesday – 2:00 p.m.

I’m in my Shakespeare’s Tragedies class.  The professor does nothing but read to us, so I thought I’d bring in my journal and write.

I did get the Assistant Resident Director position for next year.  I will have an apartment as well as my own bathroom on the first floor of McAlister.  I also got the Resident Director and Box Office Manager jobs for Summer Theater as well.

I’ve been thinking about the next year.  I’m looking forward to the change that will occur in my life nearly a year from now.  I’ll be here for 2 1/2 weeks.  I will close down this semester and go home on the 5th of May.  I plan to go home and attend Jenna’s wedding on the 10th.  I want to visit my friends and go for long walks on the railroad tracks.  Then I’ll return.  I have one more summer and two more semesters.  May of 1998 is not far away.

But tomorrow is never guaranteed.

When the time comes, I know I will be ready to leave.  I have my God and He has me.  I have my work, and that I will do.  I have my friends, and I will laugh, smile and cry.  But I also have my heart, and I want to share it with someone.

I’m at a stand still.  The mountains of my dreams are getting harder and harder to climb. I feel like an outcast.  I’m accepted and appreciated, but there’s something deeper that still feels alone.

But one thing I know….I’m only beginning to bloom.

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