March 1, 1997 – Saturday – 1:35 a.m.

Earlier tonight, on the last day of February, Josh and Timothy went to the Pantry to get themselves some hot dogs while all of us watched a movie together in my room.  When they returned with the Pantry dogs, Josh picks up the phone and dials a number, then I hear him say:

“Hey Jeni, I just want you to know that we went to and guess who we saw, yep, David.  And he was hugging and flirting with this other girl.”

I was convinced that Josh wasn’t really talking to Jeni and that he was just playing a joke on me, but then Timothy grabbed the phone and said, “Jeni, don’t listen to him, it was just the youth pastor at church.”

I grabbed the phone and said, “Jeni, I can’t believe Josh just did that.  I am personally kicking his butt right now.”  And I could hear her crying on the other end.

What a cruel joke.  I asked everyone to leave and I went to go see Jeni.  Everyone was over there:  Jeni, Tracey, Abigail, Ann-Marie, and Lindy.  I made sure Jeni was okay and then came back to the dorm since I was on duty.

Well, the girls then all came over and visited with me later.

First just Abigail and Jeni came.  It was weird; we just sort of held each other.  I began to run my fingers along Abigail’s face and through her hair.  Other people came in: Timothy, Tracey, Todd, Ann-Marie, Lindy, but I just kept touching Abigail’s face.  And she just laid there with her eyes closed.

I remember praying earlier in the evening.  I asked God why I was alone.  I told him how badly I needed to share my heart.  Then Abigail came over and for well over two hours I studied every micro inch of her beautiful soft face.  I ran my fingers along her forehead, eyebrows, cheeks, nose, lips, chin, and neck.

I’m falling.

This one is going to hurt.

It’s two o’clock in the morning on the 1st day of March in the year of our Lord 1997.

She enjoys my touch.

And I enjoying touching her.

Thank you God for letting me share my heart tonight.

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