October 1, 1996 – Tuesday – 6:20 p.m.

Antigone ended one year ago today.  I feel sad right now.  Not sure why.  Guess I’m just lonely.  No special person is near.  I try and force myself to like somebody, but nothing happens.  I can’t.

We went to the guys’ soccer game today.  We lost.

I remember when all the trees outside my window were the same green.  Now they are different shades of brown, red, yellow, green, and gold.

Everything is changing.

It all stays the same.

I speak words no one hears.

I hear words no one speaks.

No one wants to try.

No one wants to take that chance.

Is it because I’m skinny?  Too tall?  My crooked chin?  Am I too pale?  Am I too nice?  Too serious?

Where is she?

Where am I?

How can I be complete without my other half?


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