November 19, 1995 – Sunday – 8:05 p.m.

I believe it has begun again.  Perhaps my soul is ready for this.  Perhaps not.

A lot has happened this past week.  Scott called me and told me that John stepped down from being the youth minister at Abundant Life.  There was a gas leakage in McAlister and the whole dorm had to be evacuated at 2:00 a.m.  The snow melted.  I went to court for the trespassing incident.  I went sledding down some pretty steep hillsides at Sharon’s with Dan and Vince where Vince broke two bones in his hand.  Allen got baptized.  I saw Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls with Charlie and Kate.  I went to church and directed the Christmas show.  Derek and I performed a Thanksgiving skit in front of the whole church.  And something new, yet old at the same time, seemed to begin…

Tonight at church, we had a Thanksgiving meal after the service.  Laura came and talked to me.  There is so much to her.  So much in her eyes.  Such a mystery.  Such a longing.  I want to like her.  I want to need her.  I want to want her.  But at the same time, she seems so far away.

It is winter time.

Let me have the freedom to dream.

I don’t want this to be like all of the rest.  I want this to be different and special, or I don’t want it to be at all.

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