I believe it has begun again. Perhaps my soul is ready for this. Perhaps not.
A lot has happened this past week. Scott called me and told me that John stepped down from being the youth minister at Abundant Life. There was a gas leakage in McAlister and the whole dorm had to be evacuated at 2:00 a.m. The snow melted. I went to court for the trespassing incident. I went sledding down some pretty steep hillsides at Sharon’s with Dan and Vince where Vince broke two bones in his hand. Allen got baptized. I saw Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls with Charlie and Kate. I went to church and directed the Christmas show. Derek and I performed a Thanksgiving skit in front of the whole church. And something new, yet old at the same time, seemed to begin…
Tonight at church, we had a Thanksgiving meal after the service. Laura came and talked to me. There is so much to her. So much in her eyes. Such a mystery. Such a longing. I want to like her. I want to need her. I want to want her. But at the same time, she seems so far away.
It is winter time.
Let me have the freedom to dream.
I don’t want this to be like all of the rest. I want this to be different and special, or I don’t want it to be at all.