October 11, 1995 – Wednesday – 11:45 p.m.

It’s been two years since the day Jonathan and I first visited Lees-McRae College.

I love it here.

Last night Derek and Tina and I stayed up until 6:30 this morning working on a lighting project.  We turned it in this afternoon.  It went very well.  We had the greatest time working on it.

I was reading some reviews of Antigone posted up.  Everyone said they enjoyed the Sentry the best.

Today I did a scene with a girl named Terra for the Directing class.  I directed us.  We played a married couple.  Terra goes crazy, tries to kill me, but instead kisses me.  It was very funny.  Everyone was laughing.  They say I am very good.  Perhaps they are right.

Li’l Abner opened tonight.  I am the house manager.  It is such a good show.

After the show, Melonie was telling me how much she enjoyed my scene with Terra this morning.  She told me that last year she thought I was an idiot, because she didn’t know me.  But now she says I have a lot of talent.

It’s hard to know how to handle all of this fame.

Maybe I can be a good actor.  Maybe I already am.

I just thank the Lord.

October 9, 1995 – Monday – 10:47 p.m.

I went for a long hike today.  A two hour long hike.  I went deep into these mountains surrounding campus.

Lil Abner opens Wednesday.  I am the House Manager.  I watched the rehearsal tonight.  It was so funny!

I love theater so much.  I love film.  I am so happy to know that I’m going to be around it for the rest of my life.

I got an email from Erica today.  I wrote her back.  We basically talk about the goodness of the Lord.

You know, it’s funny.

One million miles in this life.

I’ve only made a few steps.

I feel like the race is almost over.

But I’ve only begun.

The journey began with my Lord and will end with my Lord.

Its hard to describe it, but I have such a peace inside me.

The Lord is taking care of me.  He has given me so much.  He has given me my freedom.  I expect Him to take care of me and be there for me.

He has already walked those one million miles before me.  Now he is here, walking them again beside me.  He points out every stone that I might trip over.  There are some times when he picks me up and carries me.

He is my best friend.

He is so beautiful.

And so kind.

I love you Jesus.  I’m sorry for not having complete faith in you sometimes.

I adore you.

I want you forever.

And I know I can have you forever.

My freedom is in you.

My home is in you.

Thank you my Father.

October 9, 1995 – Monday – 12:02 p.m.

Things are great.  I had a lot of fun this weekend.  Dan, Jeff, Allen, and Vince and I have some of the coolest times together.  Wonderful memories are being made.  I see them changing; changing for the better.  They are becoming better people.

For Fall Break, I believe I’m going to stay up here and stay at Crystal and Clifton’s house.  That is probably the easiest and best thing for me to do.

I do have a home here.  It is not in room McAlister Hall, but it is in my heart.  My heart is filled with with love and with Jesus.  Jesus and love are all around me here.  My heart is here.  My home is here.

Molly was asking me at church the other day who my woman was.  I told her I didn’t have one.  So, she said that Crystal was perfect for me.  I didn’t say anything.

Sometimes I feel lonely because Charlie and Kate are always together and happy.

I talked to Marcus on Sunday.

He is okay.

Life is continuing.

And that is good.

October 7, 1995 – Saturday – 11:00 a.m.

The electricity came back on Thursday.  I was let off duty.  Dan and Allen and I went for a hike down past Linville off of the Blue Ridge Parkway.  We went so high up into the mountains.  The moon was so bright.  The wind was so fast.  It felt like I was flying

I am free.

Friday’s classes were cancelled, but it was a beautiful day.  We went to Linville Falls and Blowing Rock.  Everything was gorgeous.  Even the women.

God’s creation is so beautiful.

I talked to Brandon and my brother over the phone.  Brandon is doing great.  We three-way called and talked to his girlfriend Sara.  Kevin is alright.  He told me more bad news about our home church.  He said the Chatwoods were leaving.

I hope I never have to go home again.  But at some point I’m sure I’ll have to.

October 5, 1995 – Thursday – 1:00 p.m.

Do you remember that big storm I told you about in yesterday’s entry?  Well, it got bigger.  And I quickly learned it wasn’t just any old storm, but a little something called Hurricane Opal.


It game up from the gulf.  We don’t have any power and the whole area is flooded like it was back in January.  The first floor of McAlister was flooded, as are many of the other dorms.  My room is okay.  I’ve been up since 4:30 a.m. taking care of things.  Classes have been cancelled and trees fell on several students’ cars.

Things are pretty bad.

The phones are out and the water has been contaminated.

Last night I studied with Allen and Lindy for a computer test that was cancelled.

The wind is blowing so hard outside right now.  Everyone is leaving to try and head home, but I’m on duty tonight and the rest of the weekend.

I’ll be stuck here.

Here is this building, alone.

October 4, 1995 – Wednesday – 2:46 p.m.

Last night I was listening to one of my praise and worship tapes.  A song was playing that we used to sing at Abundant Life Christian Center.  My memory began to stir.  I tried to call Cheryl, but no one answered.  So, I called Jenna.  Jenna and I had the greatest conversation.  She is doing okay. She read some old letters that I wrote to her back to me.  We talked about how we used to like each other.  I read some things in my journal to her.  I read June 30, 1994 to her.  I almost cried.  She is so far away.  I miss her so.

I bought a new make-up kit today and I will lead FCA tonight.

It’s raining now.

A big storm is here.

October 3, 1995 – Tuesday – 6:00 p.m.

It is evening again here at Lees-McRae College.

I am on duty.

Things are calm.

Do you remember Erica?  Well, she and I email now.  She will be at ASU in January.  I’m looking forward to seeing her.

I got a voice mail from Jonathan yesterday.  He is losing his apartment Friday and he doesn’t have a job.  My best friend is practically homeless.  And just think, I few months ago…I was his home.

I had to write up G.W. today.  He was Haimon in Antigone.  He had alcohol in his room.

Things continue to change.

One year ago, I was kissing Jeni on a stone bench.

Two years ago, I was eating at Mr. Gatti’s with Ryan, Amy, Christi, and Cheryl.

Things do change.  And that is good.

If I’m not changing, then I’m probably dead.

October 1, 1995 – Sunday – 6:00 p.m.

My mom came up here this weekend to see the show.  Grandma and Aunt Sis were with her.  They took me out to eat and gave me some money!  It was good to see her.

Antigone ended today.  Kevin couldn’t make it, but I’ll see him later.  It’s beautiful outside today.  I am lying here on my bed, listening to the Legends of the Fall soundtrack.

It is peaceful.

I enjoyed Antigone so much.  I worked with such a great cast.  Everyone has complemented me on my work.  I have grown and learned so much.  They said I was born to be a comedian and to make people laugh.  They said I had talent and that it is going to take me far.

Antigone will never happen again, except in my memory.

Crystal, Clifton, and the Spradlings were there.  It was wonderful.

Dan, Vince, Allen, Curtis, and Jeff are turning out to be really good friends that I can possibly trust.  We hang out together all the time.  The other night we watched all three Star Wars movies back to back.

It’s October.

How far I’ve come.

Fall break is in 17 days.  I don’t know where I will be.

Last night Amy and I watched The ButterCream Gang.  It was great.  It is so wonderful hanging around her.

Simple little things happen each day.  So much so that I can’t write about it all.  Love and joy are all around me.  This land, these trees, these golden leaves, good friends, lovely girls…when did the world become so insanely beautiful?  I thought nothing could top my days with the Jason and the Emmanuel Players.  But perhaps these too are some of the best days of my life.