October 14, 1995 – Saturday – 6:10 p.m.

Yesterday evening as I managed the house for Li’l Abner, I saw Jeni’s parents come through the door.

Jeni.

Remember her?

I often do not.

We talked.  Mostly about the rest of their family.  Jeni’s little cousin was there.  I asked her if she recognized me.  She nodded her head, but she did not look at me.

I do remember those days back in January and February of this year when Jeni and I were still together.  She would come into class and stare at me with a huge smile and I would look away.  I did not find her beautiful anymore.  On the outside or the inside.  That must have broken her heart.  To have someone promise you happiness for the rest of your life and then to take it all away…

I never see Jeni around other guys.  Her close friend Tracey is always with Derek.  I wonder if she is lonely.  I wonder if she is happy here.  She never looks very happy.  She does not go to Heaton Christian Church anymore.  Her facial features have changed.  Is this all because of me?  Am I responsible for the downfall of this girl?  Did I do this?

. . .

The leaves are changing colors.  They are falling off the trees.  They are turning the green grass into a golden carpet.

. . .

Things are good for me.

Dan, Jeff, Vince, Allen, Curtis, they all tell me that I am the “MacDaddy.”  They say that I have girls all over me and all around me.  They want to know how I do it.  But I don’t do anything.

Emily hasn’t written.

Syndi and I don’t talk much anymore.

Amy hangs around guys who aren’t Christians.

. . .

Soon, winter will come.

And snow will cover the golden carpet that will soon be raked away.

Moisture on my window will freeze, and soon, I will not be able to look out and see the trees that do not have any leaves on them.

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