September 9, 1995 – Saturday – 1:20 a.m.

I am on duty this weekend.  I just escorted Syndi down the stairs.  She has been here since 6:00 p.m.  We simply laid on my bed on separate ends, then by the time visitation hours were over, I was holding her like I did under the waterfall.  She looked at me so many times in such a special way.  We were so close.  We watched TV and talked.  We even tickled each other and gave each other massages.

Allison asked if we were an item.  I told her I didn’t know.  And I said that it was difficult since Syndi wasn’t a Christian.  Allison said I was getting into one of those “Charlie Situations.”  Kate isn’t a Christian either, but she is learning and she wants to learn.  Allison said it was funny that the two strongest Christians on campus aren’t even seeing Christian girls.

I’ve known Syndi for about four and a half months.  And in a little over three months, she will be gone.  But I’m sure we’ll keep in touch.  It’s hard to say all that is going on.  How will I see all of this when I am 60-years-old?  What will happen to Syndi?  Will I care?  Does it even matter?

So many little stories occur each day.  Everything slips through my fingers.  But the plot is thickening.  I’m still alive.  I am here.

All you have to do is keep reading.

But me…

No, I see every second pass by.  I hear every spoken word around me.  I see smiles.  I stare into eyes.  I hold souls.  And sometimes, it’s all so extremely beautiful, I feel as though its going to be the end of me.

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