August 7, 1995 – Monday – 11:58 p.m.

Unspoken words cannot be taken back.

I am now in Siler City, NC.

But earlier today I was in Crestview, FL.

I don’t know what to think.

I don’t know how to feel.

I can’t find my heart.

Emily hugged me this morning.  Things are so weird.  I thought our love would be big and wonderful.  So huge the whole world would stop, see us, and cry out of happiness because we finally found each other.

But this morning, after she said goodbye and left for volleyball practice, I placed a note in her room:

“When I was a thousand miles away, I felt close to you.

When I was close to you, I felt a thousand miles away.

Nevertheless Emily, I remain your Pen Pal

Box #3179 – LMC, Banner Elk, NC 28604″

I should have known looking into an eclipse would blind me.

But the more I watched Emily this weekend, the more I learned.  She is still just a little girl who has been given a woman’s body.  I got to know the wonderful little girl, but it seems everyone else only sees and reacts to the woman’s body, to her curvy figure, huge breasts, and long blonde hair.

Perhaps she knew that I only saw the wonderful little girl and she didn’t know how to react.

This is story is not over.

God is in control.

I saw her smile.

I held her for a few seconds.

I looked into her eyes.

I am sure there is a boy far away, sort of like me, who was never lucky enough to meet Emily, but I’m also sure he knows a special girl whom I have never been lucky enough to meet.

I guess those who try to forget are destined to remember.

Sun and moon.


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