April 21, 1995 – Friday – 11:15 p.m.

It has been one heck of a day.

Everything was okay until the afternoon.  Derek treated and still treats me like crap.  I asked him if he hates me and he said no, but he treats me differently than he used to.

To top everything off, Jeni’s parents came to visit and see the Dance Concert.  Missy was with them.  I said hi to all of them and made some small talk.  I don’t know how they see me now.  Before the concert began Jeni actually said something to me.  She told me to make sure Gary sits next to her family.  She asked me; not the house manager or the usher, but me, the sound guy.  It’s not my job to seat people, I thought it was pretty low.

I did what she asked.  I believe the reason I feel bad is because I feel like I have hurt that family.  But at the same time, they seem to be fine.

From the sound booth I could see Gary talking to Jeni’s mom.  That used to be my place, but I threw it away.

Oh well, all is fair in love and war.  I did what I had to do.  That relationship made my mind go places I wasn’t comfortable with; it caused me to sin.  So, I cut it off.  I would rather not have a friend than have a girlfriend and a heart full of sin.

Forgive me Lord!

Charlie and I went out to eat tonight.  We went to Boone and had a fun time.  We laughed our heads off.  He is so funny!

I thank God for him.

I can’t imagine this place without him.

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