It’s been one year and one day since I wrote April 10, 1995’s journal entry.
This land is still flowing with milk. But it is not coming from Jeni. It is coming from inside me.
In less than five weeks I will be gone from this land. I will return to the place from which I came.
I had my interview with Todd, the Director of Residence Life this morning. The interview went wonderfully. He liked my answers and questions. My need and want to be a filmmaker came up, as well as my faith. My love for everyone came up. Jesus came up. Charlie came up. I even mentioned the old skit group and Jason.
And it made me look back. I looked back at everything God has shown me. All of those days. Even the ones before I began writing them all down. They all mean so much to me. Every soul out there that I’ve laid eyes upon. Every person that has ever loved me. Every person that I’ve ever loved. I would mention their names here, but we already know who is important.
It takes time to appreciate. But hopefully I am learning to overcome that time. Hopefully I am learning to appreciate everything during the moment it is happening.
I thought about Emily all day today. I think about her more than I think about myself or anything else.
I have fallen in love with her. I have fallen in love with others along my journey, but those hearts and thoughts have faded away.
The sun has set outside. It is nighttime. I am happy. I am thankful. My life has been good. I do regret somethings, but now I can only be thankful that God has forgotten them. In my retrospect I relive wonderful moments from my past.
Somebody loves little me. Somebody out there likes little me. Somebody out there misses me.
And now things will begin to continue on from this one moment in time.
I don’t know where I will be tomorrow.
Things may grow worse. My life may fall apart. Death could be all around me. Love could be no more.
But as before, I am fighting. Tomorrow is out there. And I will find it. Things may grow worse, but most likely things will only grow greater than this wonderful day.
I am coming Emily.
I will be there soon.
You know, I am not the one who can save this world. Jesus already did that. I am simply trying to help out. And, at least from where I’m sitting, it looks like I’m doing an okay job. I have a smile on my face, but it’s not through yet. There is still much that needs to be done.
Come with me and we will do it together.