April 1, 1995 – Saturday – 1:45 p.m.

Last night I went to Boone with Chris, Kris, Troy, and Shawn.  They are just some guys on campus.  We went to the mall and I bought the Legends of the Fall soundtrack.  It is beautiful.  We also went to see a movie.  None of them had seen Outbreak yet, so I saw it for the third time.  I almost fell asleep at the end.

All of them, including myself now, play this little game called “Cool Points.”  You start out with 25.  According to what you do, you either gain or lose points.  I have 14 now.  I lost way more than I gained.

We ate at Taco Bell, then came back here.

This morning, James and I helped build sets for 42nd Street.  We then went to lunch and then back here.  Charlie and I talked for a while and now I’m writing in my journal.

April has begun.

Then May.

Then June.

July.

August.

September.

November.

December.

December just passed, yet it is so close again.

This afternoon as I was in my room, I glanced out my window and saw a girl walking down toward Elk River.  She was alone, sort of.  She was several dozen feet behind Derek and Tracey, who were holding hands.  I watched this girl walk.  She use to not walk alone.  She use to have me there by her side, holding her hand.  She use to always have someone with her.  But I saw another trail, different from the one she was one, and I took it.

And she wasn’t allowed to follow.  So, now she walks alone, by herself.

I’m thankful she was a part of my story, but I’m also thankful that the chapter was so short.

Emily is still in Florida.

I am still in North Carolina.

Nevertheless, I know I will see her soon.

Maybe this month.

Maybe in heaven.

But it doesn’t matter.  Because I feel I am with her spirit every day.

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