December 5, 1994 – Monday – 4:30 p.m.

I just cried.

I was thinking about Jeni.  She filled my heart, my mind, my soul.  And I couldn’t stand it anymore, tears rolled down my cheeks and I spoke aloud to God, “Lord, just be with her, and touch her.  May she always be happy.  Whether I’m in her life or not, please keep her happy Lord, please.”

Here I am in McAlister Dorm on Lees-McRae’s campus in Banner Elk, North Carolina.  It was here where I met Jeni.  But I didn’t just fall in love with her here, but in Cincinnati, Ohio as well.  These two places will remain sacred in my heart.

I love you Jeni.

My heart is full of passion for you.  You are my best friend in the whole world.  I commit myself to you.

Sometimes when I read some of my other journal entries from my Book of Days before I came to Lees-McRae I am blown away.  All of it seems so long ago and so far away.

I can’t imagine how I survived those days.  None of those days seem right.  Jeni wasn’t with me then; it all seems so strange.

Everything here seems like it has been this way since the beginning of my life.

Those first 18 years were simply to get me here, so that I could meet Jeni.

Dear God, you are so good to me.  Why did you give me this beautiful graceful woman?  I don’t deserve her.

She says she loves me Lord.  I believe her.  I can see it in her eyes.  What am I to do?  We are in love with each other.  I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman Lord.  I want to grow with her.  I want her to be by my side always.  I know that we have only been together for a little over two months, but God, I want her to be my wife and for me to be her husband.  She wishes the same Lord. She has told me so.  So I ask of you Heavenly Father, to stay with us and bind us together.

This is your will God.

You are our match maker.

I know that with every fiber of my being and I thank you.

You are my God.

I will praise you forever.

I adore you Jesus.

Thank you Holy Spirit.

More than Jeni, I love you God.  Jeni is not my first love.  You are Lord.  And you always will be.  I love you more than anything.  I want to be with you forever, you are so beautiful.  You died for little me.  You went through all of that pain just so you could see me smile.  You’ve loved me all along!

Jesus, I love you more today than I did yesterday.  You are what makes me get through each day here.

I can’t thank you enough.

I love you.


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