September 20, 1994 – Tuesday – 5:40 p.m.

I just got back from eating lunch with Jeni and some friends of hers.  I called her around 2:00 to see if she wanted to go for a walk with me.  She wasn’t in though.

This Saturday I am going to ride with them to Carowinds.  We will follow Charlie and his youth group.

This Saturday is going to be very difficult for me.  I am suppose to call Kristen and tell them where to meet me.  The same with my youth group back home.  Charlie wants me to go around with him.  And Jeni and I have talked about how much we enjoy roller coasters and she said, “great, I have a partner now.”

She is who I want to be with; I’m even riding down there with her.  I don’t know what the sight of Jenna, Tenielle, Cheryl and possibly even Ryan will do to me.  It will have been four weeks.  One month since I saw them all.  And then there is Marcus, Kevin, Kristen, Kenny, Lisa, Hannah, and all the others from High Falls.  And then there is Charlie, who says he would love to see all of the concerts with me.

I really want to be with Jeni though.  So I know what I should do.  This is the ultimate test for me.

Tonight I saw Jeni praying over her food.  She is so sweet and so beautiful.  I love it when she smiles.

Help me Lord.  She has got me.

September 19, 1994 – Monday – 2:02 p.m.

My religion test was easy.  There was only one question I wasn’t sure of.  Jeni came to the breakfast devotional this morning, so her and Glenda and I prayed about the test.  It worked.

I’m not sure what’s happening between Jeni and I.  A week ago I didn’t even know her name.  Last night, as we sat next to each other at Sharon’s house, she laid her hand by her side and the back of her fingers were touching my leg.  I wanted to reach over and hold her hand, but I didn’t.  I’m not sure how I should feel.

Today after lunch we walked to her dorm and sat outside and talked until my Algebra class.

I got another letter from Cheryl today.

Carowinds is in five days.

That will be so wild.  The High Falls youth group will be there, plus my youth group from back home, and everyone else who is here.

Jeni and Tracey are going as well.

September 19, 1994 – Monday – 12:50 a.m.

I went to church with Charlie this morning (Sunday).  Jeni, Tracey, and Rachel came too.  Jeni and I sat together.  We both went to the Sunday School lunch thing in the school’s cafeteria afterwards.  And tonight she came with me to Sharon’s house (you know, the family with the three daughters from church).  We got back after visitation hours were over and Jeni and I were going to study in her room, but we both got written up since it was past eleven o’clock.  We thought visitation was over at one o’clock.

So, we just went outside and studied (or so-called studied).  We really just talked about a bunch of different things that had nothing to do with Religion class.  I was cold, so she rubbed my back.  She sat so close to me.  I love the way she looks at me.  Those eyes of hers.

Dear God, I really like this girl and she really likes me.  And she is my age.  This has never happened before.

September 17, 1994 – Saturday – 11:20 p.m.

I’ve been here three weeks.

I saw Jeni today at lunch; they wanted Charlie and I to sit with them, but Charlie said that he shouldn’t because other people wanted us to sit with them, so he said no.  She was in a dance performance this morning and I went to go see her.

I could walk and be at her dorm in three minutes, yet she still feels so far away.

I will go to church tomorrow.  I got a letter from Cheryl.  She said that her and Ryan and Adrienne (that girl I bought gas for) and maybe Christi are going to come see my play.  Christi and Cheryl have been talking a lot and they are getting the past taken care of.

Joel is in big trouble.  Many other girls beside Cheryl have turned him into the cops.  He is trying to run to Arizona.

I talked to Jenna this morning, and Marcus too.  They are fine and Jenna tells me that Jonathan has not kept in touch with her.

Carowinds is a week away.  I’m not sure if I can go because the makeup workshop that was for today has been cancelled and rescheduled for next Saturday.

Let me sleep in your peace Jesus.  I love you.

September 16, 1994 – Friday – 11:55 p.m.

Tonight was the first best night of my life since I came here to Lees-McRae.

There was a performance tonight by the African-American Dance Ensemble.  I was supposed to go with James and the other Knight in Mattress, Chris.  I went to Boone with them before the performance, so I sort of wanted some new company.  Charlie was on duty so he couldn’t go, but he said Kristi was going with some girls from the Bible study group that met in her dorm.  He then looked at me funny and said, “that girl you were sitting next to at the Bible study on Thursday is going.”  He was obviously referring to Jeni.  I called Kristi, but she wasn’t in, so I just decided to go and see what would happen.

I saw Jeni and her roommate Tracey walking around the campus with Tracey’s parents (it’s Parent’s Weekend).  Jeni saw me and waved.  I waved back.  She asked me if I was going to the performance.  I told her yes and then I walked around with them until the performance started.

We were seated and couldn’t stop talking.  After about thirty minutes the performance started  and it was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.  I sweated just watching the thing.  Jeni loved it.  Tracey, by the way, is one of the girls who helped work on the house last Saturday.

Near the end, the leader of the ensemble asked everyone to stand as he said something and then he asked us to hold hands.

I held Jeni’s hand for the second time.

Then after his little speech, he asked us to hug three people.

I hugged Jeni for the first time.  Hopefully the first of many.

As we walked back they asked me to come up into their room.  We looked at Tracey’s photo album, talked some more and then I left.

This girl loves to dance, she loves music, but she loves Jesus even more.

I really like her a lot.  For two nights we would just look at each other off and on during rehearsal.  And then we began talking about Christian stuff.  I held her hand and now I have hugged her.

Isn’t that how it’s suppose to happen?  And all in the span of about five or six days.

I don’t know how this will turn out or what will happen next.  But God, I ask you, if it is your will for us to be together then please make it happen.  And if it is not, then please let us be good friends.

Take care of her Lord.  Be with her when she needs you.  Allow me to be a comfort to her.  Let us grow closer to you and closer to each other.

I thank you for it in Jesus’ name.

September 15, 1994 – Thursday – 10:20 p.m.

My roommate came back at about 2:00 in the morning.  When I asked what happened, he just said, “detention stuff and court.”

After rehearsals tonight I ran to the Bible Study Group to catch the last 10 minutes.  When I entered the room, I immediately saw the dancer girl I mentioned in my last entry.  I went to sit by her.  They were reading out of the Bible and she leaned towards me so I could read off of hers.  We held hands while we prayed and then talked a little bit afterwards.  We walked up to where the path splits off to our different dorms and I did find out her name.

“Take it easy,” I said.

“See you later,” she said.

“Have a good night,” I said.

“You too,” she said.

And just like that, she was gone.

The weekend is here.  Since she is only a dancer she doesn’t have to come to every rehearsal.  There are no rehearsals until Sunday.  I don’t know when I’m going to see her again.

Goodnight Jeni.

Goodnight Jesus.

September 14, 1994 – Wednesday – 10:30 p.m.

What a wonderful evening!  That girl that I mentioned above, she goes to Heaton Christian Church.  Hopefully I’ll get to know her.

But rehearsal was great tonight.  I didn’t have to stay that long, so I went to FCA for about 30 minutes, but then I went back to the theater to lay out the dance floor.

In Mattress there are a lot of girls who only play Spanish Dancers.  One girl has been looking at me a lot for the past two nights.  Her eyes are just…it’s like they are drawing you in.  She had me.

Tonight as we laid the dance floor, the two of us began talking and then we began talking about Christian music, and then we started singing Christian music together.  It was great!  She has the most beautiful and graceful legs I have ever seen.  A pretty smile, everything.  She acts a little air-headed sometimes, but that actually makes her really fun to be around.  We talked for about 30 minutes and then it was time to go.  We walked up together with another girl, then we split up to go to our different dorms.  She said “bye.”

All of this and I don’t even know her name.

September 14, 1994 – Wednesday – 6:17 p.m.

I got a letter from Emily today and I sent Veronica a birthday card.  Tonight I have to help lay the dance floor after my Mattress rehearsal.

Kristin called me this morning; just to talk.  She’s doing great.  My Alpha class meets today, so that only leaves me about two hours for all of the homework I have to do.  Each day seems to pass so quickly.

My roommate left this past Friday afternoon for a court date.  He was supposed to be back Monday night.  It is now Wednesday evening.  Some guys on the hall say he is in jail, something about a fake I.D. underage drinking situation back home.  There was even a warrant for his arrest.  It looks like I may have a single room after all.

I’m getting ready to go to a study session and then to rehearsal.

Something happened today.  I saw a girl.  I don’t know her name and I don’t know her, but she caught my eye like no one else has since I arrived here at Lees-McRae College: my new home.

September 13, 1994 – Tuesday – 11:05 p.m.

Today a guy on my hall asked for a dollar bill so he could tighten up a joint.  I didn’t know this when I gave it to him though.  I told Charlie.  He’s my RA and I feel like his second set of eyes around here sometimes.  He says that they will keep his eye on him and my name won’t be brought up at all.

Rehearsals were weird tonight.  I’m no longer 2nd Knight, instead they actually gave me a name:  Sir Long.  I guess you can figure out why.  There’s a lot of sexual innuendo in this musical.  I’m still working out the unique characteristics of my character, so maybe I’ll explain it later.


September 12, 1994 – Monday – 11:15 p.m.

I got a letter from Cheryl today.  She got a little mushy.  She tells me her life is falling a part, and gives me the impression it’s all because I left.

Cheryl has written me four times since I’ve been up here.  She has pressed charges against Joel.  Things are complicated.

Mom and Henry came up here.  They brought me the bald eagle Tenielle sent for me.  It’s beautiful and on the bottom she wrote, “Jacob, you’re forever in my thoughts.”

I haven’t heard from Jenna.  She is probably keeping in touch with Jonathan though.

I called Scott today.  Things are great for him.

Their stories are continuing.

As is mine.