June 22, 1994 – Wednesday – 11:45 p.m.

On my own.

Kenny and I went to church tonight.  He had a friend with him.  Cheryl was there.  I asked her if anything happened while I was gone.  She smiled real big and said I would probably find out.  It had to deal with Joel.  Jenna and Tenielle came in and I went over to them.  They said, “Jacob!  You’re here!” and gave me a hug.  That was it.  Nothing else.

Joel came in later, after praise and worship.  He is well.

After church, Jenna and Tenielle came in the Sanctuary from Missionettes and Kevin saw Tenielle and went to her.  They walked out.  Marcus went to Jenna and they walked out.  I wasn’t spoken to at all.

I asked Joel what he was doing tonight.  He said, “Well, I’m was going to take Cheryl out.”  

I left with Kenny and saw Marcus and Jenna talking far off at the edge of the parking lot alone.

As I left the church I realized that I was not missed.  Those twelve days and I was not missed.

But I did miss.

And when August 28 come in about 66 days I will probably not be missed.

Tenielle has Kevin.

Cheryl has Joel.

Jenna has Marcus.

I am not needed.

I am on my own.

I can’t stay here.

No one needs me.

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