May 19, 1994 – Thursday – 10:25 p.m.

Wednesday I left school at 2:00 p.m. to go to the orthodontist.  Afterwards, I went to the Neals, every Wednesday Tenielle goes over there for trumpet lessons.  We went to the park in the neighborhood and had a lot of fun.  I gave her the letter I wrote for her.  She liked the poem.  In her letter I wrote down December 20, 1993’s journal entry because I knew she would find it funny.  It turns out that when Sharlene said what she did to me about them, that was only her assumption.

Yesterday, Tenielle said that both her and Jenna liked me then, but didn’t really like me like that.  Jenna did, but only for a little while.  When Tenielle read the line about, “I’ll just be their friends; things will be better that way,” her face lit up.  “They are Jacob!” she said, smiling.

That made me feel so great and free.

I am her friend.

I am Jenna’s friend.

Sometimes we act like we are more, but that is only because we know what we know.

So there it is.

And here I still am.

Scott did take our “joke” the wrong way, but we will see if that blows over.

Tomorrow we get out yearbooks and tomorrow is field day, and yearbook signing day.

Our yearbooks.

You know that means everyone will write down their feelings for you, especially since we’re all seniors.

We will get deep.  Or at least I will get deep.  I will encourage.  I will show love to them that I hope will last forever.

Eleven days left.

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