September 15, 1993 – Wednesday – 10:33 p.m.

The past few days have been normal.

Today I had an orthodontist appointment, and afterwards I went to Wal-Mart.  Last year around this time I noticed a girl at school.  Her name is Renee.  I never really liked her, I just noticed her because is she absolutely beautiful.  Well, while at Wal-Mart, I went around the corner of an aisle and the same girl walked right by me and looked at me.  I have never spoken to her before.  We’ve never even shared eye-contact before.  But time stopped and it seemed like forever but I finally said “hey” and she said “hey” back in her sweet, soothing voice.  It stabbed right through the core of me.

Ryan was at church tonight.  I didn’t talk to her much.  I miss her.  I see her, but I just wish there was more.  I know there won’t be though.  Sherry, Veronica’s cousin, was hugging all over me tonight.  Her touch was encouraging.  We’re good friends, but it made me realize that I like being single.  And I want to stay that way for a while.  The incident at Wal-Mart made me realize that, too.

So, with Ryan, I’ll still think of her and if something happens, praise God, but I’m just going to wait for God to move.  There are other girls, but these modern productions are all very well, but there is nothing to equal from what I here tell:  that moment of mystery, when I made history, with Ryan…the girl I could never tell…

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