August 9, 1993 – Monday – 8:17 p.m.

Major retrospect is happening right now.  I’m listening to an old Amy Grant song: “Everywhere I Go.”

I remember listening to that song when I was young, at the other house where I used to live. That was ages ago.  Five or six years now.  Kevin and I shared a room, we had tons of toys.  Hmm.  I love my brother, but he has always picked on me and laughed at me more than with me.

So much has happened since those days.  I was so happy.  I liked this girl a year older than me then.  I found out later that she was my second or third cousin once removed, or something like that.  Now she has a baby and she’s only seventeen.

So long ago, yet it seems like yesterday.  I’m sure I will look upon these days the same way six years from now.

I’ll turn 17 in a little over a week.  When I was 10 or 11 I viewed 16 and 17-year-olds as grownup know-it-alls.  Big people.  Awesome teenagers.  I can only imagine now how Veronica perceived me.

How things change.  I used to stare at the sky and wonder about it’s color and the shape of clouds.  Now all that time is spent thinking about girls.

Speaking of, I wrote Emily a letter a while back and will hopefully receive one from her soon. She’s the 18-year-old blonde goddess from Florida I met at Deep Creek on June 19, 1993.  I think I wrote about her briefly then.  She taught me that amazing card trick but made me promise not to teach it to anybody else, just so it would be our secret.  She’s so cool.  You should have seen all the guys’ faces when she spent more time talking and whispering to me than focusing on them.

Now, I’m listening to a Steve Camp song.

“We say were in search for the truth, but we’ve exchanged it for a lie.  We’ve rejected the only answer.  We’ve been laughing in the face of God.  So many hearts are fading, so many saints are turning cold.  Man does not live, he survives.”

Wow.  The truth is humbling.  Look at me, writing in my journal, so desperately wanting to be loved.

When God has called me to do the loving.

It’s simple.

Love one another.

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